Women Trapped In Towers: Nobody Knows Why Ana de Mendoza Wore A Sexy As Hell Eyepatch

Doña Ana de Mendoza was a 16th century Spanish princess who wore a goddamn eyepatch for no reason anyone could figure out, and if that isn’t enough to interest you, I don’t know what else to say to convince you.

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Women Trapped in Towers: The Uncrowned English Queen They Hid Away

Sophia Dorothea of Celle (1666-1726), or as we call her in this episode, S.D., is known as England’s Uncrowned Queen. She was raised by loving parents who also loved her, but then got married off to her truly odious cousin and things did not go well. 

References: The Imprisoned Princess: The Scandalous Life of Sophia Dorothea of Celle by Catherine Curzon

Recommended history reading: African Europeans: An Untold History by Olivette Otele

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Women Trapped in Towers, part 6: Arbella Stuart, the Real-Life Rapunzel

Lady Arbella Stuart (1575-1615) is one of the lesser-known figures from Tudor and Stuart history. She was Mary Queen of Scots’s niece and granddaughter to both Margaret Douglas and Bess of Hardwick. This genealogy meant she was both a threat to Queen Elizabeth and James I/VI (her cousin), but also that she was used as a figurehead by people who wanted to promote their own interests. Her life was like Grey Gardens meets Rapunzel, and all our girl wanted to do was run off and get secret sexy married like her ancestor/role model Katherine Grey had done. And when she finally took her fate into her own hands, it all got WILDLY scandilicious.

Recommend history podcast: Telling Our Twisted Histories

Recommended history reading: Arbella: England’s Lost Queen by Sarah Gristwood

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Women Trapped In Towers, part 5: Queen Margot’s Wedding Massacre

Marguerite de Valois (1553 – 1615) was a French princess whose life was truly non-stop scandiliciousness. Poison gloves! Two assassinations! Scandalous memoirs! A fanatic monk! Carrying around the decapitated head of ones lover! A man named Bussy d’Amboise!

Recommend history viewing: La Reine Margot / Queen Margot (1994) 

Recommended history reading: The Rival Queens: Catherine de’Medici, Her Daughter Marguerite de Valois, and the Betrayal that Ignited a Kingdom by Nancy Goldstone

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Women Trapped In Towers, part 4: Henry VIII’s Niece He Sent To The Tower (Five Times) And How She Survived

Lady Margaret Douglas was the only daughter of Margaret Tudor, making her a niece of Henry VIII on the Scottish-disinherited-side. Her parents had an acrimonious divorce which led to Margaret herself growing up mostly in England with various guardians. She was imprisoned five times, mostly in the Tower of London, but her ruthless scheming and family connections freed her every time. She wanted to be Queen, then amended her goal to see her son as King, then finally wound up being OK with her grandkids being King and/or Queen.

Recommend history reading: Luck of the Titanic by Stacey Lee / The Six (documentary)

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Women Trapped in Towers, part 3: The Mad Queen of Castile and León Who Lived in a Ghost Castle

Isabel of Portugal, Queen of Castile and León, is still often referred to as “The Mad Queen.” But as Taylor Swift would say, “no one likes a mad woman/ you made her like that.” And in Isabel’s case, the people who made her like that included her husband, her husband’s EVIL advisor, and her stepson. Like, if you lock a woman in psychological distress in a ghost tower for literal years and then call her “mad” that’s kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy, right?

Recommend history resource: instagram.com/emalineandthem

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Women Trapped in Towers, part two: Margaret Pole, The Oldest Woman Executed for Treason

This second episode in this series about Women In Towers And the Assholes Who Sent Them There is the season’s second Margaret. Margaret Pole was just about as royal as you could be back then without being an actual royal. She worked hard to restore her family’s name, but it didn’t help literally every male relative was constantly doing treason around her.

Recommended History Reading: The Five by Hallie Rubenhold

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Women Trapped In Towers, part 1: Margaret of Anjou, She-Wolf of France

We’re back! This season is themed: Women In Towers And the Assholes Who Sent Them There. And where else to begin than with the long, weird saga of Margaret of Anjou (1430-1482)! Her story has les twists and les turns enough to make you say oh mon dieu! 

Recommended History Reading: Alok Vaid-Menon’s Instagram 

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Shakespeare’s Rival Was A Bisexual Spy

It’s a super special!

Author Allison Epstein (A Tip For The Hangman) joins us to share the wildly interesting saga of Christopher Marlowe, the 16th century playwright/SPY. What was his deal, what’s his connection to FRANCES HOWARD, and how will our first-ever male subject (!!) score on the scandilicious scale??

You can pre-order Allison’s book at Bookshop.org (for the book or eBook) and Libro.fm (for the audiobook with British narrator!!) and learn more about her at her website allisonepstein.com and follow her on socials @rapscallison

Also, click here to read the scandilicious Baines Note written about Marlowe

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Queen Elizabeth’s Lookalike Younger Cousin And How She Stole The Queen’s Man

Lettice Knollys (8 November 1543 – 25 December 1634) was the first cousin once-removed of Queen Elizabeth I (on the Boleyn side). Lettice was also basically the Queen’s younger, prettier lookalike which you know Elizabeth didn’t like. And THEN Lettice secret sexy married to the Queen’s boyfriend, dirtbag Robert Dudley, and that’s just the BEGINNING of this remarkable woman’s tits out life. How many people named “Robert” are in this story? A LOT. And how will Lettice score on the scandilicious scale???

References: 

Elizabeth’s Rival: The Tumultuous Life of the Countess of Leicester: The Romance and Conspiracy That Threatened Queen Elizabeth’s Court by Nicola Tallis

Other stuff: 

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