Vulgar History Podcast
Gráinne O’Mally AKA Gráinne Mhaol AKA Grace O’Malley (with Katie Charlwood)
December 18, 2024
Hello, and welcome to Vulgar History, a feminist women’s history comedy podcast. My name is Ann Foster, and this is this year’s holiday special! Every year at around this time, I like to do an episode about a person who does just fine. It’s a time where some people are struggling, some people are having a great time, a lot of people are really busy. And it just feels to me like an episode where somebody, you know, gets trapped in a castle and then dies in childbirth aged 16 or whatever, it’s like, that’s not the vibe. Let’s talk about somebody who lived an okay-length life, and overcame their problems, and things were fine.
It worked out so perfectly because Katie Charlwood, who you might know from Who Did What Now!, she’s on TikTok, she’s on Instagram, she also has a podcast called Who Did What Now!, she does live shows. We were talking about doing a collab and I was like, this is perfect because we can come on and talk about a long-requested woman from history who is Gráinne [phonetic: Gron-ya] O’Malley. We talk in the episode, and we refer to her by that name because that is her actual name. We explain in the episode why later in history, people started calling her Grace O’Malley, but that is not her name and we’re very much reclaiming her actual Irish name.
So, I was really excited to talk about this because we love a lady pirate on this show. There’s so many connections with other pirates we’ve talked about on the show before, like Sayyida al-Hurra and Zheng Yi Sao. Gráinne is just an iconic person; she’s got a sword, she’s got a dagger and she just, like, gets the job done. It’s fantastic. I also loved learning more about Irish history. This story takes place at around the same time as Mary, Queen of Scots, actually, so it’s all sort of a time and a place that we all know about from the Mary, Queen of Scots episodes. But what was happening in Ireland at that time, and it turns out, what was happening was a lot of stabbings being done by this woman.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this episode. Yeah, I mean, this is me and Katie Charlwood just having the best time talking about this iconic Irish heroine.
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Ann: So, I’m joined today by Katie Charlwood, who you all know from Who Did What Now!, the podcast, the live shows, the videos, the internet presence. The legend herself, Katie. Welcome, so much.
Katie: Hello! Thank you for having me.
Ann: I’m so excited to tell this story and I do want to give everybody the opposite of a trigger warning: This is going to be a nice story. [chuckles] This is a person who faces challenges and overcomes them is the vibe.
Katie: And also a badass.
Ann: And also a pirate.
Katie: And also messy as hell. [laughs softly]
Ann: It’s everything. It’s everything but without those things that pop up so often in women’s history where it’s like, “And then also, her husband was…” whatever, “and then she died in childbirth.” None of that. None of that. She just… keeps going.
Katie: No childbirth death. No death in childbirth at all. None of that in this story, I don’t think. We do have an interesting…
Ann: We have lots of interesting things, but she lives to an okay old age. So, that’s my reassurance to everybody that this is going to be, yeah, the opposite of a trigger warning.
So, actually, first, can you tell me how we’re pronouncing the name of this person? Because some people know her by a different name.
Katie: And that name is wrong, [laughs] she says aggressively. Yeah, her name is Gráinne O’Malley. So, [ph.] Gronya or Granya, because depending on which part of the country you’re from, that’s the pronunciation so it’s just a dialect change. She’s also known as Gránuaile [ph Gron-you-wail], which is her sort of nickname, which means “bald Gráinne.” You may notice that I didn’t translate into English the name Gráinne. It’s because technically it doesn’t actually have a translation. And I’m going to bring this up because the reason that she’s called another name is because some English fella, about 300 years after her death, decided that the other name was just easier to say. And so, he rewrote her history with a different name.
Ann: Which is not even in her lifetime. This is a woman who was out there, she was famous, she was well known, she met (spoiler) Queen Elizabeth I. And her name was Gráinne, and that was what everyone called her, and so that’s what we’re going to call her.
Katie: Yeah. And another misconception about Gráinne is people think that she had red hair. And like, whenever you see—
Ann: She didn’t have red hair?
Katie: She didn’t have red hair! See! See! I knew! Right. So, her dad was Eóghan Dubhdara Ó Máille [pronounced Owen Do-dar-a O’Malley], like O’Malley, but his name translates as, like, “the black one,” because his hair was black. So, because they are probably the most purebred Irish in this region, they all have dark hair because the red hair came to Ireland through the Vikings. So, it’s like she has dark hair. But she’s always depicted as being a redhead because that’s that assumption of Irish people when Irish people traditionally would have black hair or very dark brown.
Ann: That is something that I have come to learn. As a Canadian person who grew up mostly just seeing Ireland represented as this, kind of, lucky charms type place.
Katie: [sings in a high pitch] Dee-da-lee-dee, potatoes!
Ann: [laughs] And that’s where, like, when there’s people pretending to be Irish, it’s always a red-haired person. And so, I was just kind of like, okay. And as a red-haired person, I was like, “This is great, my people.” But I have come to learn, like, I think almost all the Irish people I know have dark hair. Like I do not know a red-haired Irish person. I don’t think that’s… That’s not… The stereotypical Irish person is, like, dark hair, pale skin.
Katie: I know one. I know one Irish ginger. My kid’s dad, actually, he’s funny. He’s a, he’s a six-foot-two redhead. We always make jokes because he’s very easy to spot in a crowd because six-foot-two and ginger, he’s very easy to find.
Ann: Yeah. I was in Scotland this past summer and I was just like, “So many redheads!” I’m like, this is my people. No, this is where I am from. I blend in here like nowhere else, and that’s a Scottish thing. That’s not an Irish thing. Yeah.
Katie: That’s because it’s easier to get to Scotland from, like, Norway and Sweden.
Ann: That’s where the red hair went to.
So yeah, I want to let everybody know, we don’t need to get into like the depths of it but, like… [proclaims] The history of Ireland! [laughs]
Katie: Okay. First, the Vikings came, and they sort of joined… So, there’s, there’s this interesting Brehon Law, which is relevant to this story, actually. So, Brehon Law is this whole thing where… The good thing about the Vikings, the Norse, and the Irish, is they have very similar rules regarding women. So, women had more autonomy, they had more rights. And there’s a bunch of things, for example, the man could have a sheep, but it’s the woman who weaves the wool so the woman is more valuable to society because she is the one with the skill, you know? And if she wants to divorce you, she can literally just shout out a window “I divorce you!” And there you go, you’re done, marriage is over. So, there’s all this sort of respect. So, Brehon Law has this sort of concept that if somebody comes to Ireland and they sort of intermarry and intermingle, you have three options. You can either agree to the rules and stay; you can disagree to the rules and leave; or you can disagree to the rules and fight, which you will probably lose. But yeah.
So, first, you had the Vikings, then you had the Normans, who were the French, and then you had England, which is… People are still pretty pressed about over here. It’s still contentious.
Ann: Something that came up when the… This is the, I forget, it’s like the second or third Ireland-based episode I’ve done. And what came up in the last episode we were talking about, because it was like the 1700s so I think it’s important for people to know that the English were like, “Let’s try doing genocidal colonization, and let’s practice it first in Ireland, perfect it, and then take it to the Americas.” So, that was kind of the vibe of England.
Katie: Yeah. It’s very interesting as well. So, like when they, when they first decided they were going to properly try and colonize it, right, it was Henry VIII who was consistently in a dick measuring contest with the King of France, and he’s like, “I’m also going to take Ireland now.” And he just kind of got what we call the Pale, which is Dublin. So, he got that bit, and he was like, “Yeah, that’s enough to prove that I am Lord of Ireland.” And then Mary tried, Edward, nnhh, didn’t really do much, but Mary was like, “I am going to have King’s County and Queen’s County” and they sent, you know, their colonists over, but they didn’t send them any sort of, like, guards or army or anything. They were like, “Just go settle.” And so, they would just get raided constantly, and they weren’t allowed to speak Irish or intermingle with anybody and so they just ended up kind of being kicked out.
But then when Elizabeth came to power, then she was like, “Okay, let’s get some more planting done and more,” it’s called the plantations, so they would send more people over. And then when James, [groans, snarls deeply] I hate him so much, James VI/I, when he takes over, like, he just really goes to town and that’s when the proper sort of proper, huge aggressive colonization happens. Fuck it. I hate James so much. [laughs]
Ann: This is where we’re so sympatico because I also hate him so aggressively much. Yeah, just when he shows up, it’s just like, “Fuck this guy.” So, of course! Henry VIII and James, I’m like, yeah, of course those are the guys who were fucking things up and like, we’re still seeing the effects of it now because those guys were the worst.
But Ireland was not like, “I’m going to…” It’s not like, I don’t know. There’s not one king of Ireland, it’s all different, like, chieftains, right?
Katie: Yeah, there was a High King, so you have a High King, but then you have all of these other smaller kings and then you’ve got chieftains underneath that. It’s a very progressive system really, sort of, just everybody had their own little spot and then you would be part of that clan or family, or you’d be part of, you know, you would all be part of this, and then other people would be part of that one. And, you know, of course, you would have your typical little skirmishes, and wars, and things like that but all in all, pretty chill. Mainly, you were worried about the Vikings coming. So, like, mainly chill as a general rule.
Ann: And so, it’s also interesting to me, I still am very careful and mindful about, like, when am I talking about Ireland— Now, there’s like, Northern Ireland and there’s Ireland, but in the past, it was all Ireland and it was all one thing and it was nothing to do with Britain and it was its own situation where it’s like… It was kind of like, England didn’t think about Ireland for a long time, really. They were just kind of there doing their own thing, whatever, until suddenly Henry VIII is like, “Uhhh, we should go try and take over there a little bit.”
So, Ireland also, and we were talking about this a bit before we started recording, like, in terms of sources for this story, so much of it is an oral history, which is also interesting because so much of the history of America, like the Indigenous people, is an oral history. So, because that’s how— It’s storytelling, right? It’s a storytelling culture.
Katie: Well, that’s it. You can actually, I’m actually thinking of officially registering as a storyteller in Ireland because I was like, “Oh technically, I am one. So, I might just go register now.” But the thing about being a storyteller in Ireland is that it’s a very serious thing, you know, especially throughout history, because people assume, there’s this assumption that when it comes to oral history, that it’s like a game of telephone, that people are going to add bits or remove bits as it goes along. But traditionally, a storyteller, a bard, they would learn it as it is, and they would memorize it to the point there was no variation. And you see this a lot with a lot of the mythology.
A lot of the mythology would come to a point… My favourite way to explain this is there’s a story called “Chlainne Lir,” which is “The Children of Lir.” There are these kids, they get turned into swans, they’re cursed, it’s a whole thing. And it’s very, completely pagan, mythological, up until a point, and then suddenly there’s a monk at the end of the story, and it’s when Christianity came in. So, these stories were basically as is, and then when Christianity came in, this bit was added on, and then that was the official story, and it did not change.
And so, oral history, it’s very much set in stone, except, you know, in your head. But it’s not… People assume that if you see something written down, it’s somehow more real, when it’s like, I could write down anything, it doesn’t make it right. Like, anybody could write something in their diary, and you have, like, that’s my whole thing is, like, it’s bias and propaganda and sensationalism. It’s easy to write something and for it to also be wrong. But oral history is very, you know, it’s a valid point of history that a lot of the times we don’t give the credit to.
Ann: And it seems to me — and again, this is why you’re here as a person who lives in Ireland, to explain things — but so much of Irish history, like, it was… I’ve done a lot of studying about Scottish history, English history, and that’s all recorded in a certain way and the records you look at are, this is how it was recorded. But Ireland was just, like, doing their own thing completely different. Like, it’s close to England, but it’s storytelling, it’s a storytelling culture, they’ve got these chieftains. They really developed such a separate entire culture from what was going on across the water.
Katie: And when it was written down, it was typically written in the annals of a monk or a bishop or something. And so, it’s like… It’s how we know that whiskey was in Ireland before it was in Scotland, and it’s literally because (and I love this because it’s a pun)… There was this chieftain and he drank whiskey and clearly, it wasn’t made correctly because he died, it was at Christmas and he dies. And he goes, “It was not aqua vitae,” which is the term for whiskey, “It was not aqua vitae that got me, but aqua morte.” [Ann laughs] I was like, “That’s a good last words.” And that was, like, 60 years before the first recorded instance of whiskey in Scotland.
So, it’s typically through these religious, sort of… You know, like the Book of Kells, it’s sort of manuscripts on vellum and things like that, and that is the only way that a lot of things were recorded for a long time because the Pagans didn’t write anything down, the Celts wrote nothing down. Not a thing. St. Patrick was burning the pagan books. Was he? Did he? What books? They didn’t write anything down. [Ann laughs] Feels like you made that up.
Ann: So, this is part of where, just when I’ve been like reading, pre-reading about this, just to be prepared to talk to you about it. When you see that she was born during the reign of Henry VIII, I’m like, “Oh!” Because just at that point, Ireland was so separate. I’m like, “Oh, is that what was happening in another part of the world?” Like, that didn’t matter to her or her family, who the king was of England.
Katie: But it’s good for context, it’s good for historical context so that we know what’s happening at that point. It’s like, “Oh, she was born during a time where all of Europe was run by teenagers, and it shows.”
Ann: Very much so. So, explain about the O’Malley’s, her family and, sort of, what’s their role.
Katie: Yes. Well, they’re based in Mayo. So, she was born in Clew Bay in Mayo, and they are a seafaring clan. So, effectively, they were pirates. They did trade and things as well, but they also liked a wee bit of a raid. They were actually banned from Galway, they weren’t allowed to go to Galway to trade because of all of their, like, heigh-ho stuff on the sea. So, they were quite high up, they were a fairly wealthy clan, effectively. And the way that inheritance works as well is you’re not, you couldn’t just be born with the title. Like, I know sort of in British history, you could be born as a duke, and you could be born as this. To become a chieftain, you would have to earn that right and your son or your daughter wouldn’t automatically become the chief, it would be whoever was the next best in line.
Luckily, Gráinne is a wee firecracker and she’s… I think because her mum dies pretty young, she must be under the age of 12 anyway, her mum dies. And so, she’s effectively raised by her dad. Even though the dad remarries as they always do, because blended families have always existed, and we act like that’s a new thing. But yeah, he remarries and she has half brothers and stuff. And it’s like, “Is he going to become the new chieftain?” No. No, he is not. But yeah, they’re just a seafaring family. They trade and they have other, sort of, clans that are loyal to them. So, it’s like one house is loyal to another house but they’re higher up the food chain effectively.
Ann: It’s a real sort of, like, Game of Thrones-type situation.
Katie: Yes, like fealty to this.
Ann: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So, they’re this seafaring family and so I think this is the perfect time to tell the story of how she gets her nickname of Gráinne the Bald.
Katie: I love this one. Basically, she’s like, [slightly airy voice] “I want to go on the ship with you, father.” And he’s like, “Uhh, you couldn’t come on the ship with me because your long hair will get caught in the ropes and, you know, it’s just going to be too dangerous.” And to me, this is perfect child logic. Because kids think of the quickest, simplest solution, “Oh, my hair is going to get caught. I’ll just chop off my hair.” I like to think of it as that sort of scene from Mulan where she just cuts it with a sword, but she probably used scissors. But in my head, it’s like, phshh!
Ann: And so, he’s like, “You know what? You got me.” And her father trains her to become an amazing seafaring person, She has these skills so clearly, this is where she learned them, from her father.
Katie: Yeah. So, she learns from him, and she basically goes up the ranks and people respect her. And this is, again, even though women during this time had, you know, better rights than women across the Irish Sea, seas are hard. Even so, she managed to gain the respect of not only the men, on the ships but, like, everyone around her. Everyone knew that she was not to be messed with, which I think is just cool.
Ann: Which really speaks to, you know, in history, there’s so much of, like, people say what a person is like, but I think when you see how people treated them, then you can infer more of what they were actually like. And so, the fact that people, that all the men respected her, it’s like, okay, well then we know without saying like, “And she was charismatic and she was smart.” It’s like, well, she clearly was because this is how she was treated by all these, like, pirate men. She’s this teenage girl and they’re like, “You know what? She knows her shit.”
Katie: Yeah, because otherwise… Mutiny. Like, mutiny happened all the time. And if she wasn’t worth, you know, listening to, she would be the first person to go overboard. Do you know what I mean? She would have been done.
Ann: And also, just in terms of seafaring in this era, I don’t know a lot about it, but I mean, there’s, it’s such a skill set of knowing to be able to navigate, to know how to be able to do all this stuff with the ship. These are practical skills that she took to, like, she clearly was knowledgeable and capable.
Katie: Yeah, and they were trading as well. So, her dad would be taken around to, like, Spain, they traded a lot with Spain. So she could speak French and Latin and Spanish and of Gaeilge [ph. Gway-lig-ah], Irish. And I like to think that she could speak English, but she just chose not to. [laughs] That’s my personal— She probably didn’t speak any English, just out of spite, but I feel like she could have learned it if she really wanted to.
Ann: Well, that’s an interesting point too about just people being traders. Like, yeah, you need to become fluent in, or at least somewhat fluent in these various different languages. You’re interacting with different cultures, different places, she’s getting such an education on just the world and how things work. It’s great and it’s cool of her Dad that he was like, “You know what? She’s great and she can come along. She cut her hair. I love her.”
Katie: And she saved his life once, which is a wonderful thing.
Ann: Tell that story.
Katie: Yeah, they basically get attacked on the ship and he’s like, “Get below deck!” because it’s his daughter. He’s like, “You’re a child, get below deck.” And so, down she goes, or she at least seems like she’s going. But then as she’s watching, a guy goes to, like, stab her dad and she’s like, “No, thank you,” and just leaps out and stabs the guy! And I think being stabbed by a 12-year-old girl is probably not the way this man wanted to go. But it did earn her so much respect because everyone’s like, “Let’s not mess with this one.”
Ann: Yeah, yeah! Augh! She’s just, I love… I love a little, little kid pirate, just like doing the thing. But because this is the olden days, she is of course married when she’s a teenager. And can you, my god, can you… How do you… I’m looking at the name of this man she married and I’m not going to even try to say it. Dónal… [ph. Don-ell] Dónal. [ph. Don-al]
Katie: Dónal. [ph Don-ell]
Ann: Dónal. But like, the names that come after that, no thanks. I’m not going to embarrass myself by trying to say that.
Katie: [laughs] Oh. Oh my god… I’m just going to say “O’Flaherty,” it’s probably the easiest.
Ann: Sure.
Katie: Yeah. It’s Dónal an Chogaidh Ó Flaithbheartaigh [ph. Don-ell O-hay O-fla-hert-y] Like, it’s just part of the O’Flaherty clan and it’s one of those political… She’s only, what? Like 16, isn’t she, when they get married? Or ish?
Ann: Something like that, yeah.
Katie: She’s like still very young and they’re like, “We need political alliances.” And he’s like, “Let me get some of your land” because like, I didn’t mention it earlier because not only did they have all their sea stuff, but they do own land, and they do own sheep and cows and all that kind of thing. So, they own other things where they can make money when they’re not out at sea, you know. So, it’s not just all your eggs in one basket scenario. And they’re like, “Mm, the O’Flaherty’s have huge tracts of land. Why don’t we make this alliance and get them together?”
So, they have this political alliance marriage. And again, because it’s Brehon Law, if you’re married a year or under, it’s kind of like a trial marriage. If before the year is over, you’re like, “I’m done,” like, you open up the window and you shout, “I divorce you!” but like, in Irish. And so, that’s what she does. He’s away doing something and she’s ruling the house and everybody in the house is like, “Absolutely, we follow her.” Everyone on the lands are like, “She’s amazing. We’re following her.” You know, everyone respects her because if they didn’t, again, being a woman, they’d be like done, you know.
Ann: Yeah. If I don’t respect her, like, she will stab you. So, they did.
Katie: And so also like you enter the marriage with your own property, like as opposed to a dowry. She enters a marriage with it and if she leaves it, she still has that. So, she’s independently wealthy. But then she also gained it because she was ruling, sort of, everything so well that she just kept earning money. And so, she actually came out the marriage wealthier than when she went in it. Can’t say much about O’Flaherty though. Not so much for him. Poor Dóral. Not a great husband, not a great leader. Terrible temper. Bit of an arse. And she was like, “I don’t need this in my life. [sighs] I think I’m taking some me time. Adios.”
Ann: And then it’s after she leaves him, is this… I want to get to the part where she takes the lover.
Katie: Which one?
Ann: Ha-ha! The one where she kills everybody afterwards?
Katie: Oh, I think this is actually… I think it’s after the second marriage.
Ann: Okay. So, let’s do the second marriage then.
Katie: So yeah, because she becomes Lady… Lady… I’ve forgotten it now. Lady Something. She becomes Lady Something because she has so many lovers and there’s one where they— Okay, I’ll just tell the story of the lover. So, she has a lover and the lover gets… Is it the kidnapped lover? This one?
Ann: It’s like, there was a shipwreck and then there was only one survivor and then she takes him as a lover.
Katie: Oh yeah, she takes him as a lover. Oh yeah. Because the way that her castle is built is it’s one of the ones that go around the left so that you have to hold… It’s clockwise so that you have to hold your sword and your non-dominant hand. And so, they go up and she ends up just, like, stabbing a bunch of people. There’s the one where she gets broken into… There’s a few, there’s a few of them that she goes through.
Ann: What I’m going to say is she was out here living her life and having a lovely time. But the one that I just… This story just stuck with me. Like, she found this shipwrecked sailor, she took him as a lover, some people were mad about it and then they killed him, and then she was so mad about it that she killed the murderers. And this is why she allegedly, what I’m reading right here, she got the nickname, the “Dark Lady of Doona” for these murders.
Katie: Yes! She does so much of this though. It’s my favourite thing. She does so much of the… Because like, there’s one where they try and kick her out of her own castle and she, like, sneaks in. [chuckles] She sneaks in and then she just absolutely murders everybody in the castle. Like, every person who invaded, she just absolutely destroys them, and it’s just my favourite. I just, I love her so much. I love how much of an arse… Because she has so many lovers as well and she doesn’t care because she’s like, “I can do what I want because I am Granuaile.” She’s fabulous.
Ann: She has several children. One of them, I think there’s a story about like she had three children with one guy, one child with another one. But one of the, I think it’s her youngest child was born…
Katie: On the ship!
Ann: … while she was on the ship. Yeah, tell that story!
Katie: Yes. So, her youngest son, he is born on a ship and she’s, like, two or three days postpartum, it’s not that long at all. And they end up, sort of, the ship gets raided so, you know, people are coming onto the ship and she’s like, “Uh-uh. No, I’m not dealing with this,” grabs a bloody sword, and she just starts taking people on and just starts slicing through them. It’s one of my favourite ones. She just completely annihilates everybody on the ship.
Another thing she did as well, which is a fun thing for me, is in her castle, she actually had allegedly (but I think it’s true because of who she is) allegedly she has this rope that effectively goes from the bedroom. So, it was attached to the bed, the four-poster bed — which still exists today, by the way — and it would go down to the mast of the ship so if she had to make an escape, she was just going to shhhrrrroooo, jump out the window.
Ann: She was just going to, like, zip line basically.
Katie: Yeah! I think you’re only here for the zip line and she’s like, “Listen, if they’re going to attack me and I don’t have any other option, then…” Yes, off she goes.
Ann: And I think you’d mentioned before the thing about, she had the castle where the stairs were… My understanding of that was like, the way that this was built was to make attackers be at a disadvantage. The way that the stairs were, the banister or something it’s, like, you’d have to hold your sword in your left hand and most people are right-handed. So, they’d be going up the stairs, but they’re holding the sword in the wrong hand so when they get up to the top of the stairs, it’s easier for her to just, like, slice through whoever came up.
Katie: Yeah.
Ann: Which is clever!
Ann: Like, she was just like, “I’m going to deal with this.” She’s just like, I love that she’s just slicing people. People just try to mess with her and she’s just like, “Fuck that.” And also, part of what the pirate biz, part of the pirate business that she was developing and leading was I read about a similar thing with the pirate Zheng Yi Sao, who is the Chinese pirate, she would have, like, a protection racket. Like, she’d go to different places and just be like, “Hey, if you pay me money, I won’t attack you,” and so just all the different, sort of like, coastal towns.
Katie: Yes! She would do that! She would go up and down. I remember the castle now, the castle that she laid siege to. It used to be called Cock’s Castle, and they renamed it Hen Castle in her honour. So, she sieges it because she was like, “Mmm, you’re not kicking me out. Thank you” And then she gets and it’s just such a, I love it. I love it so much. She’s like, trrrrrr… I’m doing sound effects here. [laughs] Sorry.
Ann: No, the sound effects are necessary. She’s just like… I’m looking at just this, this write-up about her, this is a phrase. So, some English guy said that she was “Nurse to all rebellions in the province for 40 years.”
Katie: [gasps] Ohhh! Okay.
Ann: So, she’s just like, in England, they’ve heard of her. Like, people have heard of her. Decades are going by, she’s, like, a middle-aged lady by this time, just like killing it.
Katie: Yeah. Because at that point she’s married. She marries Richard Bourke is the second fella. She marries Richard Bourke, he’s called [gruff voice] “Iron Richard,” and I think during the entire podcast, I called him Iron Dick [chuckles] because I could. And they become Lord and Lady Bourke or de Búrca, technically, because they gain English titles and she’s like, “Mmm… Mm? Not really feeling it.” That’s when that’s the final child that they have, that’s the final child who’s born. She sieges the castle because they killed a lover, and it was the Cock’s Castle that became Hen’s Castle.
Ann: So, Gráinne is like, now she’s part of this power couple and they’re just, kind of like, simultaneous to all of this, Elizabeth is now in power over in England. So, we’ve kind of got this like Elizabeth is there, Mary, Queen of Scots is on the scene and it’s just, kind of these, like, women in powerful roles, and there’s a lot of men who are just like, “What is happening?” And they’re just like, “Don’t worry about it. We got this handled.” But anyway, England is encroaching more on Ireland, basically.
Katie: So, she’s there with her galleys and stuff and she’s like, “Oh, Lord Deputy, let me offer you my ships,” and then she gets caught pirating and they’re like, “Oh, we have to arrest you now.” She’s like, “Oh. Okay.”
So, when she actually gets invited to see Queen Elizabeth I, she causes such a commotion because… So, obviously, Elizabeth doesn’t speak Irish or Scots or French— Well no, she speaks French but she doesn’t Spanish. But they both speak Latin so they converse in Latin with one another. But when they show up, obviously they do a pat down on Gráinne and they’re like, “Oh! You’ve got a knife on you.” And she’s like, “Whoops! [both chuckle] Did I?” And she’s like, “Well, we shall meet each other because I am the pirate queen of Ireland. So, we shall meet each other as royals,” and Elizabeth’s like, “All right.” [laughs] Which is, I appreciate that. I’m not a huge fan of Queen Elizabeth I, even though I do like messy women in general, but typically, she’s got so much praise for stuff that was built before.
I’m going to sidebar for a second. A lot of what the reason that Queen Elizabeth I gets all of this like praise and all of this, you know, being recognized when a lot of the work was done by Mary. But they don’t want to recognize that Mary did all the work because she’s Catholic, and that’s it. And it’s like, there’s a whole reason that Queen Elizabeth I wore Mary’s coronation gown even though she was so into fashion herself, like, because she’s showing “Ha-ha! I’m legit. This is a proper thing. Look, I’m showing respect to the previous.” It’s a whole thing. It’s a whole thing! But anyway, yeah.
So, Gráinne is there and she’s meeting Elizabeth I and she sneezes…
Ann: The handkerchief!
Katie: Yes, the handkerchief. Exactly! So, she sneezes into the hankie and she throws it into the fire and everyone at court is like, [huge gasp] “Gasp!” They’re, like, so shocked at this behaviour, they’re like, “What is this?” And Gráinne then explains in Latin that, like, “Oh, in Ireland, it is seen as, like, if you sneeze, that it’s the devil and you have to get rid of the evil. So, you have to burn it. If I kept the hankie, it would be, you know, I could be bringing evil in here.” And they’re all like, “Oh, okay. That makes sense. Yeah, that’s a perfectly reasonable explanation.”
Ann: Do you think she was bullshitting?
Katie: Yeah, I think she just wanted to cause a scene.
Ann: Yeah, I think she’s just like, “Oh, in Ireland!” People now, I still do this where it’s just like, “Oh yeah, you know, in Canada… That’s totally a thing.” And then people think is true and it’s not. Anyway, so she just sneezes, burns her hankie, and then is like, “Hey, Elizabeth, queen to queen. I’m the pirate queen of Ireland.” Like, it’s this iconic meeting.
Katie: It’s so cool. It’s so cool. And she’s like, “I promise never to do any other pirating again.” And all of Elizabeth’s advisors are like, “You sure she meant that?” And Elizabeth’s like, “Yeah. I trust her. Clearly, she is loyal to me. Clearly, she is my subject.” And it’s like “She literally just called herself a queen and did not have to bow to you like everybody else? You sure about that, Lizzie?” [laughs]
Ann: It’s interesting because Queen Elizabeth I, who I talked about a bunch when I was doing my Mary, Queen of Scots series, like, she was not usually the sort of person to cut anyone a break, especially a woman.
Katie: She was consistently just, I mean… When you think of what she did to the Grey sisters, she is such… You know, she’s so paranoid, she’s vindictive every chance she gets. There’s no chill, there’s absolutely no chill. But then this happens and she’s like, “It’s fine.” Howww? She showed up with a dagger. [laughs]
Ann: [laughs] It’s so interesting. This is such a mysterious occurrence and it’s very unlike Elizabeth. But I don’t know if this speaks… I don’t know what it speaks to, but I’m going to say part of it is just like, “This woman is awesome, and I’m cool with her.”
Katie: Yeah, I think it’s just the goal of it all, I think. Because when you think about everybody else that Elizabeth dealt with, everybody else, regardless of whether they were a king or a queen or whoever, there was protocols, there was stuff that they were trained to do. And although, clearly, you know, Gráinne had been trained in certain social skills because there’s no way that she could have survived, like, five minutes at court without it, especially as Lady Bourke, you know. But for her to actually show up and instead of doing what everybody else would do, she’s the first person to really, sort of, see themselves on an equal footing and also not act like they were not on an equal footing. Because a lot of the people who would come to see, you know, Elizabeth, they would try and, you know, placate her, they would try and sort of cajole and, you know, catch more flies with honey than vinegar, or they would try and, like, aggressively show their hand, where she’s just like, “I’m here. Hello.”
Ann: And it’s like, you know, if someone else came in and tried that same thing, Elizabeth would be like, “You’re being executed now.” But somehow, yeah, Gráinne came in and Elizabeth was just so startled, maybe, or just charmed. She’s just like, “Whoa, she’s treating me differently and I’m okay with it.”
Katie: Yeah, I think, like, just in this one instance, I think also she’s like “A pirate queen? Tell me more.” [chuckles]
Ann: Well, you know what, Elizabeth, she liked a pirate man, right? Like, she loved like the privateer. So, maybe she’s just like, “I fuck with pirates, and I fuck with this pirate. This is fine.” I love a pirate and that’s her weakness maybe.
Katie: Maybe. I’d love to know what was going on in her head about that because it’s the one thing, it’s an anomaly when it comes to this. And somehow, Gráinne is just like, “It’s fine.”
Ann: This is also something that— It’s in the Irish, like storytelling history but it’s this is something that people in England were like, “And then Gráinne came and she threw her handkerchief in the fire…” It’s like, this is documented as well. So, this is not being exaggerated.
Katie: Yeah, it’s there’s so many documents. It’s documented by, like, so many people that this happened. Because as well, when it came to her arrests (which, there were many) because they were all documented because they were documented by agents of the Crown, so like Bingham… Bingham hated, hated her so much. He really hated her. He was one of the Lord Deputies and he was just like, “I need her gone. She keeps having rebellions.”
And she goes to dine. You know, it’s like a Game of Thrones, like, if someone offers you bread in their house, like they can’t kill you, it’s a whole thing. And so, they end up murdering her son and she’s like, “[fake, angry laugh] … and now I’m coming for you.” She doesn’t even like she didn’t even like one of her sons, but she was like, “Okay, you killed one of my favourite sons. How dare you? No, thank you. This is not happening.” She was just a wee bit mad about this. So, she ends up getting pardons, like, for the other son that was involved in her helping her, you know, start little rebellions against the Crown throughout the country. But she’s, like, 53-ish when she meets Queen Elizabeth I which is glorious. I’m like, yeah, I love that you’re just like, you’re like, oh, you’re in your fifties and you’re like, “I’m still doing this.” Then she’s like, “I’m going to go mess with the Queen.”
Ann: Well, this is what I appreciate, too. Like, there’s some there’s various often, like, Victorian-era paintings of, like, when these two queens met each other and they make them look, like, young and pretty. And it’s like, no, they were both in their fifties.
Katie: Yeah, they’re both old.
Ann: Yeah. It’s like two middle-aged women who are just, kind of, like they’ve lived a life and they’re both just kind of like, “You know what? You’re cool. You’re okay.” It’s not too like young ingenues being like, “[proper tone] Oh, yes.” No. It’s like, two battle axes and I like that vibe.
Katie: And they even die within, like, months of each other as well, there’s only a few months in between their deaths. So, like, when she’s what in her… What was it? It’s like 71 when she finally dies, Gráinne?
Ann: Something like… yeah.
Katie: It’s like depending on when you think her birthday is, like, we’re working from this kind of timeline. But like she’s in her seventies and she’s still pirating until the end, which is just my favourite, favourite thing. There’s records going. And so, there’s this old lady pirate sort of going around the coast of Ireland, you know, and they say they say that she’s here.
But Gráinne also, there’s this whole thing with her in the Spanish Armada, right? [laughs] It’s like, oh, she ends up, I think it’s in Donegal, actually, where she has to— I assume it’s either Burtonport or Killybegs, where her ship has to get rebuilt because it gets damaged because she’s pulling sailors from the Armada out. And so, she’s just like, “Oh yeah, come with us. You’ve all got dark hair. You look like one of us, it’s fine. [clicks]”
Ann: She’s amassing, yeah. And the loyalty of the sailors that she’s got with her… Part of what I was reading was saying, like, there’s some sort of relationship where some Scottish people would come over and they would sort of have fealty to certain Irish families or clans. So, she would have these Scottish guys who just kind of come over and be her, like… And they were so loyal to her!
Katie: But she also learned Scots! She learned their language, which I think is a thing as well, where she would just be like, she learned Spanish, she learned Scots. She was like, “I want to interact with you, so I’ve learned this.” I think that would have gained her that extra respect because she took the time to be able to communicate with them when others just wouldn’t have, you know.
Ann: She was so… Like, when I generally think of pirates, I don’t think about like the education and the skill. But it’s like, of course, that was important, and she clearly had that. But I like that these Scottish mercenaries sort of guys, like when she left that first marriage, she’s like, “Okay, and I’m taking these 500 Scottish men with me because they are my…” She’s just like, “I’ve amassed a fleet and they’re my guys and they’re coming with me too.”
Katie: Oh yeah, she had an army, and she had a fleet, and she had, like, three galleys and she had… She’s just kind of… I just love the fact because she was like, “Ehh,” her husband’s not really here that much and yet still managed to have three kids. We were not going to question it, we’re just going to accept it. And nobody questioned it because they’re like “They’re Gráinne’s. Doesn’t really matter because she’s the one who’s important.”
Ann: And she’s going to stab you if she doesn’t.
When I read that she lived to age 71, which for a pirate, no matter your gender, pretty great. I was just thinking because I was at the gym the other day and there’s a woman there who is about that age, her name is Fionnuala, [ph. Finn-oo-la] Irish name.
Katie: [gasps excitedly] Yeah, I love that! I got excited. I’m like, “Fionnuala!”
Ann: Fionnuala is the strongest person I’ve ever seen, and she is, like, five feet tall, 100 pounds. The first time I saw her, I’m like, “Oh, who’s this tiny woman?” And she’s lifting the biggest weights. She’s this tiny woman and she’s all muscle and I’m like, that’s how I picture Gráinne now. I picture her just being this grey-haired lady who is just like, so strong.
Katie: I just imagine her just, like, picking up a barrel and just putting it over one shoulder. Sword in one hand, meat in the other.
Ann: Exactly. Well, it’s like the story about when she had just given birth and then she came out to, like, kill everybody. One of the versions that I read, she came up and she’s like, “Oh no, poor me. I’m just a woman.” Everyone’s like, “Oh, it’s a woman.” She’s like, “Ha-ha! I’m a woman with a sword!” Like, she could play off being underestimated at times based on what she looks like.
Katie: Yeah, she’s like, [soft, weepy voice] “Oh no, I’m a lady.” Stab. [laughs]
Ann: Yeah. Augh, she’s so killer. I love like… You said she was arrested various times, but she always got out.
How is she commemorated? Like, besides in the stories, which I think is a great way to remember her. You said that there was like one of the castles…?
Katie: There’s a museum yet that the castles are still there, they’ve actually got her bed on display. My ex was there with his girlfriend, the father of my children, we’re good friends. And his girlfriend was like, “Wait, that’s Gráinne O’Malley’s bed. We should take a photo of it.” and sent it to us. So, she sent it, and I was like, “Thanks, guys!” And there’s a Gráinne O’Malley Museum now. There’s statues, there’s songs, there’s a gin which has the wrong name and so I’m not too happy about that one. But like, there’s not that many books about her. Because of the type of storytelling it is, because a lot of the information isn’t written down… Because a lot of when people write books, they write it based on older books, a lot of it. And so, when there isn’t that same source material… There’s just a lack of that kind of thing. She will be in my book, though. [laughs] Plug. Shameless plug. [laughs]
Ann: Yes! No, when I was preparing for this, I was like just reading up on various things about you and what you’re up to. I’m like, “Oh! You’re writing a book that’s about just like badass bitches from history” and Gráinne is one of those people.
Katie: Yeah. Harlots, Whores and Hussies… The title has changed a few times, depending on the publisher, but it’s like, The Lives of the Bad Women of History, and it’s effectively women who have been misrepresented. So, for a lot of the time, initially, when you read about Gráinne O’Malley, a lot of it’s like, “She’s a whore. She had lovers. She did this.” She’s and I’m like, “Oh. So, we shame that. Now, let me tell you how cool she was.” [laughs]
Ann: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So, yes, shameless plug, obviously. And when your book comes out, we will be talking about it, and I’ll let everybody know.
Katie: [sings] And I’ll be sending you a copy.
Ann: Oh, hell yeah! I’ll put a blurb on it.
So, on this podcast, we score everybody in four categories, which I sent you, I think. We’ll see how Gráinne fares. I think she’s going to score quite high in some categories. The first category is Sandaliciousness, which is how scandalous was she seen by people of her time, by the people around her? 0 to 10, it’s a 0 to 10 scale.
Katie: 0 to 10. No, no, no, no, I know. I know. But the question is: Is this in her culture or in sort of the Anglo-Irish, sort of, British culture? See, because those are two different things because she wouldn’t be seen as that scandalous. Probably like a 4 or a 5, if it was sort of Irish based. But if you’re taking it from like Queen Elizabeth’s side, you’re probably talking you’re probably talking a 9.5 to a 10.
Ann: Yeah. I think we can interpret this… I think I would veer on the side of the 9.5 to the 10 because it’s like people around her were like, “Yeah, she’s a pirate and we respect her,” but she was interacting with the British who were horrified by her.
Katie: Yes. Yes, she was. In all of the ways she was fighting them, she was blowing her nose into their hankies, doing all the stuff.
Ann: I mean, she was all these things that British people were just like “A woman taking lovers!” But it’s like, “Yeah, and she’s also massacring people. She’s also leading rebellions,” like, she’s everything.
Katie: Yeah. She’s like, “I’ve just given birth. Let me stab you.” [laughs]
Ann: So, I think let’s say a 9. Let’s say 9 to sort of average out how high it would be in England with, kind of, how less high it would be in Ireland. Are you okay with that?
Katie: I’m good with a 9. 9 is fair.
Ann: 9, definitely. Yeah. I think a 10 would be, she’d need to be shocking to people in Ireland also. But it feels like back then and to today, everyone’s just like, “Hell yeah! Gráinne, do your thing.” No one was too upset with her. But also, I love that it was a culture where you could just be like, “I divorce you! Bye!”
Katie: Like, yeah, basically. “And I’m taking my shit with me.”
Ann: What a good situation.
The next category is Schemieness, which is how…
Katie: 10! That’s easy.
Ann: [laughs] Did she always have a plan?
Katie: She always had a plan, and then a backup plan.
Ann: Yeah.
Katie: Like, when she’s sort of arrested in her forties and she’s like, [soft, weepy voice] “Oh no! I am an old lady.” And her son’s like, “Oh, I’m going to have to deal with it.” And she’s like, “Son!” And he’s like, “Oh, I’m going to have to get her out of this.” And she’s like, “Yes, you are.” And then she’s like, “I’m going to go all the way to the top…” in her fifties, and she then goes to Queen Elizabeth. And it’s like, “Ha ha ha ha!” So yeah, she is schemey.
Ann: She’s schemey. I mean, she shows me Queen Elizabeth carrying a dagger. Like, she’s always prepared.
Katie: Yeah. I think she’s like, “If I don’t get to stab someone, I’m going to at least shock the court.”
Ann: Yeah. Well, and I feel like also everything to do with her just day-to-day pirate business, like, she was coming up with schemes and plans, she was learning Scots so that these guys would be loyal to her, she was doing all this trade, she was innovating different ways for pirates to be, like, I think… Yeah, she was always thinking of what to do and then executing that flawlessly. A lot of what she did was stabbing which she did flawlessly.
Katie: I mean… which I am 100% behind.
Ann: Yeah, that’s what she needed to do. And that’s how she lived to be 71 as a lady pirate in olden days.
Katie: So, is the secret to long life, stabbing?… Okay.
Ann: It might be. It might be.
Katie: I’m not sure I want to test the theory, but I am tempted.
Ann: I’m often tempted.
The next category is Significance.
Katie: Ohhh… See, I think she’s very significant, like, in general, because of what she represented then. She still represented the Ireland of old and yet she was a part of that, sort of, Anglo-Irish because she had to, you know, she kind of… Her son ended up as one of the lords.
Yeah, and she showed, like, how women were. If it wasn’t for her being documented in this way, would we have known that anybody else like her existed? Because if she existed, chances are there were going to be other women who were doing something similar, if not the same. You know, they would have been on ships, they would have been taking lovers, they would have been sort of holding their own. But we don’t have that record. And so, I think that’s significant because it gives us an idea of the culture of the time. I think she’s very significant now, especially with my argument about reclaiming her name, because it’s I think she’s very relevant because it shows that we can reclaim women’s history and give it back to them and tell their story as opposed to the very biased side that has been told for so long. So, I’m going to go… I’m going to go… I’m going to go with a 9… 9.5 for her.
Ann: 9.5. I would, from what I’m hearing, I think also just like her importance, her significance as an Irish icon, like, a person whose name was Irish, who was fighting for Ireland. I think that through all the history of Ireland and people constantly trying to take it over and whatever, she’s a symbol of resistance.
Katie: Oh, yeah. Yeah. She’s very much the Irish fighting spirit.
Ann: Mm-hm. And I appreciate that her story, like, so much of it sounds like tall tales, it sounds like a fake, like a made-up story, but it’s not like she actually was this cool. There was this person who is this iconic and that’s why the story has survived, because she was so notable.
Katie: Yeah, I think… Here’s the thing. There’s nothing about the story that sounds too out there. Because even if you compare someone like Boudica, for example, you know, we know that people like this existed, and to assume that, you know, like, Fighting Jack Churchill could do whatever he did and think that’s completely normal and we accept that as information. But to assume that someone like Gráinne couldn’t do what she did is, I’m sorry, but that’s just sexist.
Ann: Mm-hm. No, exactly. Significance, very high. The last category, I think this might be one in which she might not score high. No, because this is the Sexism Bonus. This is where we give bonus points. This is often, if it is somebody where the story is like, she was married at age 10 and she died in childbirth, age 12, where it’s like sexism really got in her way. She couldn’t score other things because… I don’t know that sexism got in Gráinne’s way very much…
Katie: A little bit.
Ann: … because the culture she lived— Definitely a bit, but like the culture she lived in, it’s not like, “Oh, she married a shitty guy and she’s stuck.”
Katie: Later on it affected her, like when she got arrested and stuff, because they got even madder because the fact she was a woman. But like, even that, that’s so much later on, you know? So, I don’t think it really…
Ann: Yeah, unless you look at like the way that she, like you were saying, how she is how she has been remembered often as this kind of, like, shocking person because she doesn’t fit into the stereotypical role. But at the same point, this category is kind of there for those women who were not able to run around stabbing and being pirates, to give them some points.
Katie: Margaret Beaufort!
Ann: But Gráinne, I think she’s got her points— [laughs] It’s a real Margaret Beaufort category.
Katie: Yeah, who’s still not a good person by any stretch of the imagination, but also did have to give birth at, like, 12 so I feel like…
Ann: Yeah, she went through it. So, Sexism, I’m feeling like a 3.
Katie: I was actually going to go for a 2. I was going to go lower. [laughs]
Ann: Let’s put 2.5. I’m going to do some quick math… You know what? I feel like Gráinne could probably do math in her head. She’s doing all these navigational calculations.
Katie: I feel like she could do math, I was actually going to say that earlier. I feel like she would have had… Because if she’s trading, she’ll have to know numbers even in her head. Like, it just seemed like something she would have to do.
Ann: The amount of knowledge! It’s true. Like, I’m thinking about, you know, I’m just really getting appreciation today for pirates and how smart and multifaceted they had to be to do okay as a pirate. Her total score is a 31, which on this show, anything above 30 is notable, basically. I’m just going to see who else is in that category, just so you can know where she’s fitting. Agrippina from ancient Rome, she’s a 31.
Katie: Ohhh! She’s good.
Ann: Nefertiti from ancient Egypt, 31.
Katie: Oh yeah, I love Nefertiti.
Ann: So, she’s up here. Gráinne is up here like amidst the queens. That’s beautiful.
Tell everybody: you have a podcast, you’re doing live shows, you’re doing videos, tell everybody if they’re not… If the two people who’ve never heard of you, where can they find you?
Katie: You can find me everywhere. I do live shows and they’re funnier than actual episodes because I ad-lib a lot and there’s crowd fun and things. So, I tend to try and avoid things that are too depressing for live shows. And so, I do that. I am in the middle of organizing a sort of, East Coast tour in the US and Canada next year. I am just finalizing the dates and locations. I’m hoping to have it all done before Christmas so people can buy lovely tickets as Christmas presents. So, that’s my plan. I have a book coming out in 2026. And I can be found on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, all of the places talking about history on Who Did What Now! It’s @WhoDidWhatNowPod, that’s all one word. That’s how you can find me on all of the socials.
Ann: Thank you so much, Katie. Everybody, go follow her on all of the things. You are everywhere.
Katie: Thank you. Bye!
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If you want to hear more of me and Katie talking, not about Gráinne, but talking about just what it’s like being a women’s history podcaster and being an online person and just more of Katie’s story. I took it to The Aftershow. The Aftershow is on Patreon, sometimes where a guest and I just really get going and talking about stuff that’s not actually the topic of the episode, we take to The Aftershow… Bonus content, I guess you would call it, deleted scenes. And you can hear that on my Patreon if you go to Patreon.com/AnnFosterWriter. The Aftershow episodes are available to everybody at the $5/month or more level.
Speaking of, you know, it is a season of gift-giving and if you want to listen to that and other episodes that are behind the paywall on Patreon right now, if you have not been a paid Patreon member before, well, what a deal I have for you. You can get 30% off an annual subscription to Patreon to be able to listen to all these things. Although, you can also get, frankly, a seven-day free trial so you could also go in there and listen to it in that way as well. If you’re listening to this and you want to have a Patreon membership, but you’re expecting a gift coming soon, tell the person giving you the gift to give you a gift membership to Patreon, which they can do. They’re going to Patreon.com/AnnFosterWriter/Gift, and all the steps are there to purchase a gift subscription to Patreon. Anyway, it’s a time of year where a lot of people are driving around, you might want a bunch of extra things to listen to. And why not listen to a bunch of me talking? That’s what you can do on Patreon. And I also wanted to say…
Well, I mean, I’m always around. You know, I’m on Instagram and on Threads @VulgarHistoryPod, I’m on Bluesky @VulgarHistory, I’m on Substack if you want to read my newsletters there. Having a really nice time on Substack, actually, it’s nice to… I’m writing a book, as you know, and so it’s useful for me to keep my writing skills going by writing these newsletters on Substack, which is free. But also, if you want to get a paid membership on Substack, that is also on sale! It’s 50% off if you want to get “Vulgar History A La Carte” on Substack, paid membership, or if you want to request one from your loved one, go to VulgarHistory.Substack.com and all that stuff is going on there.
I talked a bunch about the Patron already, but I just want to let you know, you can also join it for free. I post links there, I post value-added content, like pictures of the people we talk about. That is for all the free members of Patreon.com/AnnFosterWriter. If you become a $1/month subscriber there, you get early, ad-free access to all episodes of Vulgar History. And then for the $5 or more a month level, you get to listen to The Aftershow, Vulgarpiece Theatre where recently I did not… It was not a Vulgarpiece Theatre, technically, it was an Aftershow but Allison Epstein and I both really liked this new movie, new… I mean, like, it came out a month ago called Conclave. So, usually on Vulgarpiece Theatre, we’re talking about costume dramas. Conclave is very much set in modern times, it’s not a historical costume drama, but there is cloak billowing and cloak swirling and Allison and I were both so excited we talked about it. So, you can hear that, that’s in the $5 a month level, because that’s The Aftershow. And if you join at that $5/month or more level, you also can join our Discord, which is just a group chat to bitch about things and share pictures of our cats and dogs and other pets.
Also, in terms of gift-giving, of course, we have our brand partner Common Era Jewelry, which is a small business owned by women. Her name is Torie. So, it’s a woman-owned small business. What they make is beautiful heirloom jewelry inspired by classical mythology and women from history, including, you know what, there’s not a Gráinne, I don’t think, but I feel like that is something she might do. Who’s to say? But I do know that she’s working on some new pieces for next year that are going to, I think, coincide with some people we’re talking about next year. So, I’m excited about that. But at the moment, there’s lots of people there. We’ve got Medusa, Aphrodite, Hecate, Artemis, you know, like, mythology-type people but also, history-type people! Anne Boleyn, Agrippina, Cleopatra, Boudica, Hatshepsut, lots of people. Just women in history, like Gráinne, whose stories have been kind of misunderstood or, like, intentionally told to make them sound shitty and not like the cool antiheroes that they were. Anyway, these pieces are available in solid gold, as well as in more affordable gold vermeil. And Vulgar History listeners get 15% off all items from Common Era if you go to CommonEra.com/Vulgar or use code ‘VULGAR’ at checkout.
I also have merchandise available. Vulgar History merchandise is available at our store. VulgarHistory.com/Store, that’s best for US people. If you’re outside the US, you can go to VulgarHistory.Redbubble.com. If you want to get in touch with me, there’s a form. If you go to VulgarHistory.com, there’s like a “Contact me” form button and you can send me an email, although my DMs are also open on Instagram if you want to get in touch that way.
Next week, which is… Numerous holidays are coinciding next week and I’m going to be playing… It’s actually a Patreon choice. So, I asked… We’re going to be playing an episode of Vulgarpiece Theatre, which is the thing usually you can only hear if you’re at that $5 or more a month level on Patreon. But I thought as a special treat, my Christmas/Hanukkah gift to all of you is going to be everybody can listen to this episode. And I asked, we did a vote, a poll, on Patreon, which episode they thought would be the best to share with everybody. And the overwhelming choice was A Knight’s Tale, the Heath Ledger, medieval-set movie that… On Vulgarpiece Theatre currently, we rate the movies that we watch, Allison, Lana and I do, and this is the current champion. It’s top marks in all scales. We all love this movie so if you just want to hear us talking about a movie we love, that is good, that’s what’s going to be next week here on the Vulgar History feed.
So, until then, I mean, try not to stab anyone but sometimes think, “WW Gráinne do?” What would she do? She probably would stab somebody. But you could also do something else just, like, in your head, imagine you’re stabbing somebody. I don’t know. I mean, happy holidays, et cetera, and we’ll be here next week doing this all over again. Until then, keep your pants on and your tits out.
Vulgar History is hosted, written, and researched by Ann Foster, that’s me! The editor is Cristina Lumague. Theme music is by the Severn Duo. The Vulgar History show image is by Deborah Wong. Transcripts are written by Aveline Malek. Find transcripts of recent episodes at VulgarHistory.com.
References:
Learn more about Katie and Who Did What Now!
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Get Vulgar History merch at vulgarhistory.com/store (best for US shipping) and vulgarhistory.redbubble.com (better for international shipping)
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